Of Parents and Children

 

By the way....I've written a collection of short stories called, "Of Parents and Children".  

Here's the link if you're interested:

https://amzn.eu/d/6xvMLAv

It's an ebook and can be downloaded to the free Kindle app via the Amazon website. 

Giggles

Perched at the end of the pool lounge I watched a child wake her snoozing mother and ask, "Mum, are you sleeping?" I couldn't help but grin at this textbook 'child' behaviour. The mother, now woken up, slightly irritated, headed out to the pool. Her second child, younger, maybe two years old, ran behind her asking her to take her along. But the mother said that she wanted a swim (dad was also there, keeping an eye on the girls). The mother went for a swim after which dad and the older child entered the pool as well. The little one, however, annoyed at mom for not taking her along, refused to enter the pool. The dad - from inside the pool, at the edge - spent more than ten minutes convincing his little firecracker to come join them. She had her arms folded across her chest, chin up and her lips pouting in classic, strong, two-year-old adamance. Mum was watching from a little away. Finally, the little girl relented and jumped into her dad's arms into the pool. Mum, waded to where she was and held her. 

In a few seconds, the pool was filled with the tinkling sound of a toddler's giggles. Mummy was tickling baby under water, playing with her and making her laugh. Annoyances evaporated. 

That evening, while at dinner, I noticed a family of three - mum, dad and a pre-teen daughter - sitting at the table beside us. There were some serious conversations, maybe arguments, going on between mother and daughter. While I was busy attacking a pepper crab curry and golden fried prawns, I suddenly heard giggles. What was obviously a disagreement just a few minutes ago was now a full blown laugh attack - for both mom and daughter. It was contagious! I had to restrain myself from laughing with them - to preserve their privacy. Mom's face was pink from laughing and the girl's hair was all over her face as she tried to stop her mom from tickling her. They were in a mirth-ey embrace. And it was beautiful. 

Often with my own children too, I have observed that playfulness diffuses potentially explosive situations (where usually, I'm the one triggered into an overreaction); I mean, sure, I'd like to remember that every time and not in retrospect, but in the times that I do remember and consciously incorporate playfulness in the dealings with my children, life seems easier and less tedious. 

Yes, there's patience and benevolence and stepping away from the situation and deep breaths (all of these are important and they work beautifully when employed); and then there's giggles.  In the midst of anger, tears, irritation and a triggered mom wanting to practice and model calmness, but really getting ready to yell, giggles and playfulness can be that shower of cool rain on a scorching summer afternoon. 

What's important, again?

 Grammar is important. Spelling is important. The thought behind the words is important. Honesty is important. Integrity is important. Telling it as it is important. Saying it with kindness is important. Staying grounded is important. Giving flight to the imagination is important. Life is important. It need not be seriously important. Can be a little loose. A little messy. A little all over the place. Actually...that is life. 

The Good Ones

A couple of days ago my daughter came back from school with a drawing of the outline of India. I was convinced that it was done using a stencil, but to my utter surprise, she nonchalantly stated that she had drawn it freehand. It was a very good freehand drawing. She's only five.

This got me thinking of the time when I was in the 10th standard studying in Delhi - I must have been fourteen years old - when my geography teacher, Mrs. Jaya, asked someone to volunteer to draw the Indian map on the board. I loved Mrs. Jaya, and in my bid to impress her, I jumped right out of my seat, grabbed the chalk and proceeded to draw the map. I was pretty confident that it was a good one; Mrs. Jaya took the chalk from me, went to the board, drew a circle around the Southern Peninsula and said, "This part is excellent."

Back in my seat and now in a position to clearly see the 'map' in all its entirety, I right away knew that it was a piece of cr*p! But, I couldn't get over how Mrs. Jaya, despite the hideousness and inaccuracy, found something nice to say to me.

Some people are just born to build others up. Imagine them as teachers - healing hearts from broken homes, pumping love into low self-esteems and filling pained minds, ears and heads with kind and uplifting words.

Remembering with love and admiration all my teachers who did all of that for me.

Sprouting

Hello, virtual space traveler,

I last blogged here over four years ago. What? What kept me from blogging all these years? Nothing much; just body altering, life altering, hormones altering, brain cells rearranging, topsy-turvying childbirth/motherhood, that's all.

I've decided to once again force my opinions, experiences, tips and tricks, observations, dry sarcasm, drier humour and pathetic jokes on unsuspecting readers. Pishkew! Pishkew! (That's me shooting air bullets with my finger gun, btw.)

Be back soon with some super dumb ideas.

Two Left Thumbs

Fifa madness began just a couple of weeks ago for most; but, in my world footballs were being kicked and penalties being handed out for over a month and a half now. K’s focus and sincerity at playing the PS4 baffles me. I mean, I call myself a voracious reader, but can’t read more than a few pages at a time (that’s right now. There were times earlier in my life when gripped between the pages of a Forsyth, a Follet, a Sheldon, a Puzo or a Collins, I’ve gone for a whole day without food - ok, two meals….ok fine, one meal). He doesn’t call himself any grandiose names but is able to reach alarmingly high levels and ranks in short spans of time! 

Anyways, the gentleman that he is, he always invites me to play all his PS4 games with him; and though I really, really, really, really do want to, my two left thumbs leave me way behind the start line. Seriously. Behind the ‘start’ line. That’s how bad I am. But this time, when his new FIFA game arrived, I sincerely believed that things will be different.  I’m a fast learner - most of the time - but, this time, much to my feminist dismay, my very muscly footballers ended up doing a strange version of Ringa Ringa Roses on the streets of Brazil. And while they were ‘a-tishoo, a-tishoo’ all falling down, my thumbs, forefingers, index fingers and usually also the rest of my body did a weird mating/rain dance sequence to somehow get them to play football. 

Fine, so I made my peace with my non-sportiness and rejoiced when we bought a new game - a strategy game. Now, this had to be right up my alley, being the thinker/ponderer/mystery girl who also did some vague strategy courses in business school. Right? Right. 

Let me humbly and honestly lay my game controller down (for its own safety) as I admit, that apart from my two left thumbs all my other fingers go comatose during game play. Seriously. My characters just don’t move - no matter the button punching and lever pulling. They just stand there and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. I mean, at least my footballers did a sort of dance; but my strategising criminals/vigilantes stay put and indulge in small talk - usually in the dining area. Hmmm….!!! 

I am at that point in my gaming life where I’ve accepted who I am - the girl who can’t handle more than two buttons at a time. The thing is, that's okay; because, to shoot a very irritated bird at a gluttonous pig my two left thumbs are almost all I need. 

The Inconvenience of Peace

Arms crossed, lips pursed and an adamance in his eyes that I found amusing and disturbing at the same time, I watched my barely three year old cousin refuse to apologise to someone he had just been rude to. Sheesh! Egos develop early. 

As we grow, some of us learn our lessons and are able to keep our egos a small size - most of the time; while the rest of us let it balloon and usually have it pricked and deflated very quickly by the world. Thats why, seeking peace becomes a very important thing. 

I know that now. But, a couple of decades ago, after going for four days without speaking to my brother (post some silly squabble) I was feeling quite the victor - as a kid, being the sweetheart that he was, he would buckle and give in within a day, but the years added a lot of sense to him and, worse, diminished the efficacy of my vampish strategy. Four days of empty victory later, along came Sunday! 

So, we go to church - maintaining status quo - and though we would have loved to sit on opposite ends of the church, we had to sit together as a family ("get, set, go inconvenience!") Half way through the mass the priest said, “Let’s now offer each other a sign of peace”. Now, sitting beside each other made things extremely inconvenient for me; however, surrounded by the hawk like eyes of our parents, we had no choice but to look at each other with folded hands and say, “Peace be with you.” It sucked the air out of both our ego-balloons; but deflated as they were now, the inconvenience of peace suddenly became a bridge to truce. 

One thing I’ve noticed is that the inconvenience of peace is a global phenomenon. In Edinburgh, I’ve seen at least a couple of people, every Sunday, who suddenly just HAD TO find something in their purses or cough vigorously when it was time to say peace! In India, I’ve seen fellow church goers stand immobile, their necks straining as they stared straight ahead while those on their left and right looked expectantly - almost longingly - at them! I’ve even seen some family members prod their loved ones who were refusing said peace and offer it to them persuasively! 

But, my best ‘peace’ experience was in Shanghai. Despite the mass being entirely in Mandarin, by sheer habit I knew what prayer was going on when; so when it was time for peace, I was all set to say peace to my Chinese brothers and sisters. The Chinese offer peace pretty much like us Indians - folded palms - and I did the same. It was a few moments before I realised that a very, very old Chinese lady (did I mention how ancient she was?!) who had been sitting a couple of benches ahead of me was completely enthralled with the only Indian face in that entire, huge church. She did a complete 180 degrees turn and continued to offer me peace with folded palms for a very long time! 

Inconvenient? Not really. Amusing and a just a tiny bit embarrassing - to me and everyone else in between me and cute old lady? Very much!