Perched at the end of the pool lounge I watched a child wake her snoozing mother and ask, "Mum, are you sleeping?" I couldn't help but grin at this textbook 'child' behaviour. The mother, now woken up, slightly irritated, headed out to the pool. Her second child, younger, maybe two years old, ran behind her asking her to take her along. But the mother said that she wanted a swim (dad was also there, keeping an eye on the girls). The mother went for a swim after which dad and the older child entered the pool as well. The little one, however, annoyed at mom for not taking her along, refused to enter the pool. The dad - from inside the pool, at the edge - spent more than ten minutes convincing his little firecracker to come join them. She had her arms folded across her chest, chin up and her lips pouting in classic, strong, two-year-old adamance. Mum was watching from a little away. Finally, the little girl relented and jumped into her dad's arms into the pool. Mum, waded to where she was and held her.
In a few seconds, the pool was filled with the tinkling sound of a toddler's giggles. Mummy was tickling baby under water, playing with her and making her laugh. Annoyances evaporated.
That evening, while at dinner, I noticed a family of three - mum, dad and a pre-teen daughter - sitting at the table beside us. There were some serious conversations, maybe arguments, going on between mother and daughter. While I was busy attacking a pepper crab curry and golden fried prawns, I suddenly heard giggles. What was obviously a disagreement just a few minutes ago was now a full blown laugh attack - for both mom and daughter. It was contagious! I had to restrain myself from laughing with them - to preserve their privacy. Mom's face was pink from laughing and the girl's hair was all over her face as she tried to stop her mom from tickling her. They were in a mirth-ey embrace. And it was beautiful.
Often with my own children too, I have observed that playfulness diffuses potentially explosive situations (where usually, I'm the one triggered into an overreaction); I mean, sure, I'd like to remember that every time and not in retrospect, but in the times that I do remember and consciously incorporate playfulness in the dealings with my children, life seems easier and less tedious.
Yes, there's patience and benevolence and stepping away from the situation and deep breaths (all of these are important and they work beautifully when employed); and then there's giggles. In the midst of anger, tears, irritation and a triggered mom wanting to practice and model calmness, but really getting ready to yell, giggles and playfulness can be that shower of cool rain on a scorching summer afternoon.
