glllbbbbllllbbb........hold on, my mouth is full!!!!

Why women? Why food? Why emotional cravings? Why carbs? Why a-moment-on-the-lips-forever-on-the-hips?

Why me?

Ok, this needs a little background.

I am the first born daughter. My family believed that I had to be fed well. And 'well' meant - pour oodles of ghee in everything I ate, make sure I ate, like all the time, I got whatever my greedy toddler eyes would stare at. Of course, I stuffed my face, was in the pink of health, managed to hide the saturates somewhere in the secret depths! But miracles like fat-hiding only last so long. Because, one fine morning (well, not exactly, but you get the idea!)came the time for 'all that was hidden to be exposed'.

Adolescence.

And suddenly, without warning, cruelly, I was 'FAT'. The miracle had ended, the fact was, that the fat, began to surface.

Attitude, for the most part of my life, didnt let the 'fat' thing affect me. I was brimming with confidence, had the perfect retorts for the 'did you break the scales' comments (though, I would be really depressed and eat more..hehe!) had dialogues like 'This-is-the-way-I-am-like-it-good-for-you-dont-like-it-good-for-me' (though, I distinctly remember praying fervently, for God to make me slim, ASAP!!)

Anyways, after many many years of peer stigma and buckled self esteem, I decided to do something about it(if only to fit into the really awesome clothes that were never my size!!) and started aerobics! It was awesome! Early morning, scooty ride, mixed aerobics, sweating, stamina building..wow! Was nice!

But, you cant really teach an old dog, well, me in this case, new tricks! I would excercise with my body, mind and soul, but never ever got around to calorie cutting! Calories, eating smart, not snacking, were words that sounded like, blah blah, blooh blooh and bleeh bleeh to my fattened ears!

And then, one fine day (this time, really!) whilst on one of my routine visits to the doc, I got a jolt out of the blue categorising me as someone who had the risk of some crappy old age illnesses before the age of 35. And boy! Did that switch a light on in my head!!

For the first time in my life, I actually couldnt take health for granted. It was a very humbling feeling. The world is changing. The young are actually old. Brrr...scary. Anyways, after that enlightening day with the doc, I was all niravana-ed. Read up loads and loads about food, eating habits, changing lifestyle. It was difficult in the beginning, but now, I have embraced those changes and have even gotten used to them. And seriously (this is for those just venturing this narrow path!!!) IT WORKS!!!

However, this post, is not a brag about how I dont add sugar to my coffee or how I pick up only low cal, non fat food from the super market. This is actually about the 'slip'.

Every once in a while, the 'slip' happens and reminds me of the fact that I am a human being!! Its sort of, a practice session for my will power (which most of the 'slip' times, is running extrememly weak!) So, right in the beginning of the week, I gorged, binged and then binged some more!! For those who actually have (still) go through this, you know what I am talking about!! That helpless gut feeling (excuse the pun!!), that guilt, that anger. Oh well!! Just waged one of those battles today!!

But thank God for gyan giving, because yesterday, I had very wisely (halo around my head) told a friend (who is a fellow soldier in this war) - Remember, (blah blah blah for a long time) and..most importantly, when you slip ITS OKKKKKK!!!!!


So when I began my obvious, expected, rant and rave, she threw it right back at me..!! hehe!! Sort of shut me up! Now, THIS is why I dont believe in New Year resolutions!!! Its situations like these which remind me, that every moment, is another chance for another chance!!

So, Tuesday, here I come, with a renewed will power, stronger sense of purpose and some extra calories to burn!!






p.s: Gayathri, thanks for that nudge (comment -previous post)!! Sort of made this post happen!! Oh sweet sisterhood!

Comments

Vadapoche said…
Hey gal we are in the same sinking boat. I am way over the requirements! Have a wonder diet? Tell me about it!!!
it is ironic, i have tried everything withing my reach to put on a few extra ponds, some meat on my bones, and muscle up and you are trying to get rid of it :) it is a strange world ant it. the ones with the curly hair want it straightened and the ones with the straight want it permed, there is no happiness in this world is there?
!! Oxymoron !! said…
@jolly
No wonder diets Roger! Just eating right, making some permanent changes to lifestlye and creating a calorie deficit!! Sounds easy, doesnt it?! So does rocket science, just 4 syllables!

@lost and searching
Yes yes, thats the way of the world. When you walk, you want a cycle, when you cycle, you want a bike, when you bike, you want a car, when you drive, you want to fly!! In my case, all I want to do is to be within the ideal weight range. Aesthetics comes second (of course it comes!!), health comes first.
Aarthi said…
Hey thts nice..your recent pics are good proof for this...i completely agree with you..it works...:)
Nisha said…
like the way u write.. blogrolling u!!
Gayatri said…
aawwwww. you wrote this one because of my last comment? =D *runny jumpy falls on you like a bag of potatoes hug*

and yes, i just nodded along to every word on this post. been there, done that. i was a barrel last year and now i've shed 17 kilos thanks to rigorous gymming and starvation. (well, off late i have been slipping too) =P

but its all good!

hats off to you and to me. we rawk i say. \m/
!! Oxymoron !! said…
@Aarthi
Thanks darl!

@Nisha
Thank you Nisha and blogrolled you too!

@Gayathri
*Grin Grin* muffle-snuffle-teddy-bear-hug back to you!!

17 Kilos?! Wow!! That must've taken a titanic sized determination and an iceberg sized perseverance! Hats off to 'you' girl!!

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